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LETTER 94（第1页）

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“TheWorksofCharlesandMaryLamb—Volume5（.shg.tw）”

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LETTER94

CHARLESLAMBTOTHOMASMANNING

[Nodate.?Feb.15，1802.]

Notasentence，notasyllableofTrismegistus，shallbelostthroughmyneglect.Iamhisword-banker，hisstorekeeperofpunsandsyllogisms.Youcannotconceive（andifTrismegistuscannot，nomancan）thestrangejoywhichIfeltatthereceiptofaletterfromParis.Itseemedtogivemealearnedimportance，whichplacedmeaboveallwhohadnotParisiancorrespondents.BelievethatIshallcarefullyhusbandeveryscrap，whichwillsaveyouthetroubleofmemory，whenyoueback.Youcannotwritethingssotrifling，letthemonlybeaboutParis，whichIshallnottreasure.Inparticular，Imusthaveparallelsofactorsandactresses.ImustbetoldifanybuildinginParisisatallparabletoSt.Pauls，which，contrarytotheusualmodeofthatpartofournaturecalledadmiration，Ihavelookeduptowithunfadingwondereverymorningattenoclock，eversinceithaslaininmywaytobusiness.AtnoonIcasuallyglanceuponit，beinghungry;andhungerhasnotmuchtasteforthefinearts.Isanynight-walkparabletoawalkfromSt.PaulstoCharingCross，forlightingandpaving，crowdsgoingandingwithoutrespite，therattleofcoachesandthecheerfulnessofshops?Haveyouseenamanguillotinedyet?isitasgoodashanging?arethewomenallpainted，andthemenallmonkeys?oraretherenotafewthatlooklikerationalofbothsexes?AreyouandtheFirstConsulthick?AllthisexpenseofinkImayfairlyputyouto，asyourletterswillnotbesolelyformyproperpleasure，butaretoserveasmemorandaandnotices，helpsforshortmemory，akindofRumfordisingrecollection，foryourselfonyourreturn.Yourletterwasjustwhatalettershouldbe，crammedandveryfunny.EverypartofitpleasedmetillyoucametoParis;andyourdamndphilosophicalindolenceorindifferencestungme.Youcannotstirfromyourroomstillyouknowthelanguage!Whatthedevil!—aremennothingbutword-trumpets?aremenalltongueandear?havethesecreatures，thatyouandIprofesstoknowsomethingabout，nofaces，gestures，gabble:nofolly，noabsurdity，noinductionofFrencheducationupontheabstractideaofmenandwomen，nosimilitudenordis-similitudetoEnglish!Why!thoudamndSmell-fungus!youraccountofyourlandingandreception，andBullen（Iforgethowyouspellit—itwasspeltmywayinHarrytheEighthstime，）wasexactlyinthatminutestylewhichstrongimpressionsINSPIRE（writingtoaFrenchman，IwriteasaFrenchmanwould）.ItappearstomeasifIshoulddiewithjoyatthefirstlandinginaforeigncountry.Itisthenearestpleasure，whichagrownmancansubstituteforthatunknownone，whichhecanneverknow—thepleasureofthefirstentranceintolifefromthewomb.Idaresay，inashorttime，myhabitswouldebacklikea"

strongerman"

armed，anddriveoutthatnewpleasure;andIshouldsoonsickenforknownobjects.Nothinghastranspiredherethatseemstomeofsufficientimportancetosenddry-shodoverthewater:butIsupposeyouwillwanttobetoldsomenews.Thebestandtheworsttomeis，thatIhavegivenuptwoguineasaweekatthe"

Post，"

andregainedmyhealthandspirits，whichwereuponthewane.Igrewsick，andStuartunsatisfied.Ludistisatis，tempusabireest;Imustcutcloser，thatsall.

InallthistimeIhavedonebutonething，whichIreckontolerable，andthatIwilltranscribe，becauseitmaygiveyoupleasure，beingapictureofmyhumours.Youwillfinditinmylastpage.ItabsurdlyisafirstNumberofaseries，thusstrangledinitsbirth.

Morenews!TheProfessorsRibhaseouttobeadamnddisagreeablewoman，somuchsoastodrivemeandsomemoreoldcroniesfromhishouse.Ifamanwillkeepsnakesinhishouse，hemustnotwonderifpeopleareshyofingtoseehimbecauseofthesnakes.

C.L.

MisterFell—orasyou，withyourusualfacetiousnessanddrollery，callhim，Mr.F+II—hasstoppedshortinthemiddleofhisplay.Somefriendhastoldhimthatithasnottheleastmeritinit.Oh!thatIhadtherectifyingoftheLitany!Iwouldputinaliberanos（Scriptoresvidelicet）abamicis!Thatsallthenews.Apropos（isitpedantry，writingtoaFrenchman，toexpressmyselfsometimesbyaFrenchword，whenanEnglishonewouldnotdoaswell?methinks，mythoughtsfallnaturallyintoit）.

Apropos，Ithinkyouwrongaboutmyplay.Alltheomissionsareright.Andthesupplementaryscene，inwhichSandfordnarratesthemannerinwhichhismasterisaffected，isthebestinthebook.Itstandswhereahodge-podgeofGermanpuerilitiesusedtostand.Iinsistuponitthatyoulikethatscene.Loveme，lovethatscene.

Iwillnowtranscribethe"

Londoner"

（No.1），andwindupallwithaffectionandhumbleservantattheend.

THELONDONER.No.1.

Inpliancewithmyownparticularhumour，nolessthanwiththylaudablecuriosity，Reader，Iproceedtogivetheesomeaccountofmyhistoryandhabits.IwasbornunderthenoseofSt.Dunstanssteeple，justwheretheconfluxoftheeasternandwesterninhabitantsofthistwofoldcitymeetandjustleinfriendlyoppositionatTemple-bar.ThesamedaywhichgavemetotheworldsawLondonhappyinthecelebrationofhergreatannualfeast.ThisIcannothelplookinguponasalivelytypeoromenofthefuturegreatgoodwillwhichIwasdestinedtobeartowardtheCity，resemblinginkindthatsolicitudewhicheveryChiefMagistrateissupposedtofeelforwhateverconcernsherinterestsandwell-being.Indeed，IconsidermyselfinsomesortaspeculativeLordMayorofLondon:for，thoughcircumstancesunhappilyprecludemefromthehopeofeverarrivingatthedignityofagoldchainandspitalsermon，yetthusmuchwillIsayofmyself，intruth，thatWhittingtonhimselfwithhisCat（justemblemofvigilanceandafurredgown），neverwentbeyondmeinaffection，whichIbeartothecitizens.Shutoutfromservingtheminthemosthonourablemode，Iaspiretodothembenefitinanother，scarcelylesshonourable;andifIcannot，byvirtueofoffice，mitviceandirregularitytothematerialCounter，Iwill，atleast，erectaspiritualone，wheretheyshallbelaidfastbytheheels.Inplainwords，Iwilldomybestendeavourtowritethemdown.

Toreturntomyself（fromwhencemyzealforthePublicgoodisperpetuallycausingmetodigress），Iwillletthee，Reader，intocertainmoreofmypeculiarities.Iwasborn（asyouhaveheard），bred，andhavepassedmostofmytime，inacrowd.Thishasbegotinmeanentireaffectionforthatwayoflife，amountingtoanalmostinsurmountableaversionfromsolitudeandruralscenes.Thisaversionwasneverinterruptedorsuspended，exceptforafewyearsintheyoungerpartofmylife，duringaperiodinwhichIhadfixedmyaffectionsuponacharmingyoungwoman.Everyman，whilethepassionisuponhim，isforatimeatleastaddictedtogrovesandmeadows，andpurlingstreams.Duringthisshortperiodofmyexistence，IcontractedjustenoughfamiliaritywithruralobjectstounderstandtolerablywelleverafterthePoets，whentheydeclaiminsuchpassionatetermsinfavourofacountrylife.

Formyownpart，nowthefitislongpast，Ihavenohesitationindeclaring，thatamobofhappyfacescrowdingupatthepitdoorofDrury-LaneTheatrejustatthehouroffive，givemetenthousandfinerpleasures，thanIeverreceivedfromalltheflocksofsillysheep，thathavewhitenedtheplainsofArcadiaorEpsomDowns.

ThispassionforcrowdsisnowherefeastedsofullasinLondon.Themanmusthaveararerecipeformelancholy，whocanbedullinFleet-street.Iamnaturallyinclinedtohypochondria，butinLondonitvanishes，likeallotherills.OftenwhenIhavefeltawearinessordistasteathome，haveIrushedoutintohercrowdedStrand，andfedmyhumour，tilltearshavewettedmycheekforinutterablesympathieswiththemultitudinousmovingpicture，whichsheneverfailstopresentatallhours，liketheshiftingscenesofaskilfulPantomime.

TheverydeformitiesofLondon，whichgivedistastetoothers，fromhabitdonotdispleaseme.Theendlesssuccessionofshops，whereFancy（miscalledFolly）issuppliedwithperpetualnewgaudsandtoys，exciteinmenopuritanicalaversion.Igladlybeholdeveryappetitesuppliedwithitsproperfood.Theobligingcustomer，andtheobligedtradesmen—thingswhichlivebybowing，andthingswhichexistbutforhomage，donotaffectmewithdisgust;fromhabitIperceivenothingbuturbanity，whereothermen，morerefined，discovermeanness.IlovetheverysmokeofLondon，becauseithasbeenthemediummostfamiliartomyvision.Iseegrandprinciplesofhonouratworkinthedirtyringwhichenpassestwobatantswithfists，andprinciplesofnolesseternaljusticeinthetumultuousdetectorsofapickpocket.Thesalutaryastonishmentwithwhichanexecutionissurveyed，convincesmemoreforciblythananhundredvolumesofabstractpolity，thattheuniversalinstinctofman，inallages，hasleanedtoorderandgoodgovernment.Thusanartofextractingmorality，fromthemonestincidentsofatownlife，isattainedbythesamewell-naturedalchemy，withwhichtheForestersofArdeninabeautifulcountry

Foundtonguesintrees，booksintherunningbrooks，

Sermonsinstones，andgoodineverything—

WherehasspleenherfoodbutinLondon—humour，interest，curiosity，suckathermeasurelessbreastswithoutapossibilityofbeingsatiated.Nursedamidhernoise，hercrowds，herbelovedsmoke—whathaveIbeendoingallmylife，ifIhavenotlentoutmyheartwithusurytosuchscenes?

Reader，inthecourseofmyperegrinationsaboutthegreatcity，itishard，ifIhavenotpickedupmatter，whichmayservetoamusethee，asithasdoneme，awintereveninglong.Whennextwemeet，Ipurposeopeningmybudget—Tillwhen，farewell.

"

Whatisallthisabout?"

saidMrs.Shandy."

Astoryofacockandabull，"

saidYorick:andsoitis;butManningwilltakegood-naturedlywhatGodwillsendhimacrossthewater:onlyIhopehewontshuthiseyes，andopenhismouth，asthechildrensay，forthatisthewaytogape，andnottoread.Manning，continueyourlaudablepurposeofmakingmeyourregister.Iwillrenderbackallyourremarks;andI，notyou，shallhavereceivedusurybyhavingreadthem.Inthemeantime，maythegreatSpirithaveyouinhiskeeping，andpreserveourEnglishmenfromtheinoculationoffrivolityandsinuponFrenchearth.

Allons—orwhatisityousay，insteadofgood-bye?

Marysendsherkindremembrance，andcovetstheremarksequallywithme.

C.LAMB.

[Thereferencetothe"

word-banker"